【www.gbppp.com--爱情故事】
英语幽默小笑话大全
1.a kiss
At a dinner party, the speaker, who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver a speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it.
The guest seated next to the speaker said, "Your wife must love you very much, I see her send you a 'KISS' before you begin your speech."
The speaker smiled and explained, "You don't know my wife. The 'KISS' she give me stands for 'Keep It Short, Stupid.'"
2.A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
Little Johnny then stood up.
The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”她一开始就说。
小约翰尼站了起来。
“你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼？”老师问。
“不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。”
3.a great man
Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today?
Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.
一名伟人
老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗？ 学生：当然。因为到目前为止，还没有人活到400多岁。
4Two Cute dogs
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, "Does
your dog bite?" The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite." The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. "Ouch," he says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!" The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog."
6.Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?
Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.
警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？ 男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗
金牙。那就更糟了。
7.The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little girl. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”
8.Class and Ass
1.猫和老鼠
——Mrs Brown went to
visit one of her friend and
carried a small box with
holes punched in the top.
——" What's in your
box?" asked the friend.
——"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them."
—— "But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.
——"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.
布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。“盒子里装的是什么？”朋友问道。“一只小猫，”布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友说。“小猫也是假想的。”布朗夫人小声说道。
2.Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸
A guy I know was
towing his boat home
from a fishing trip to Lake
Huron when his car broke
down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able
to
raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location.""I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"
在休伦湖钓完鱼后，我的一个朋友开车拖着他的船回家。路上车坏了。他没带手机，不过，他想，也许他可以通过海事无线广播来请求公路援助。于是，他爬到他的船里面，启动了无线装置，喊道，“求救，求救”。一名海岸护卫队警官作出了回应，“报告你的位置”。“I-75号公路，Standish的南面两英里”。沉默了好一会之后，警官问我的朋友，“你的船靠岸时开得有多快？”
3.The Mean Man's Party
吝啬鬼的聚会
The notorious cheap
skate finally decided to
have a party. Explaining to
a friend how to find his
apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor
and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了后，再用你的脚把门推开。” “为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢？”
“天哪！” 吝啬鬼回答，“你总不会空着手来吧？”
4.Talking clock 会说话的钟
——While proudly showing off
his new apartment to friends, a
college student led the way into
the den. "What is thebig brass
gong and hammer for?" one of
his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"
——"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed
from
the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"
一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓，甚是得意。“那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的？”他的一个朋友问他。“那玩意儿厉害了，那是一个会说话的钟”，学生回答。“这钟怎么工作的”，他的朋友问。“看着，别眨眼了”，那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子，拼命地敲了一下，声音震耳欲聋。突然，他们听到隔壁墙那边有人狂叫，“别敲了，你这白痴！现在是凌晨两点钟了！”
5.那就更糟了 Much Worse
----Policeman: Why
didn't you shout for
help when you were
robbed of your watch?
----Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.
警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？
男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。
6.需要推一下吗
Need a push?
——A man is in bed asleep【英语幽默】
with his wife when there is
a rat- a-tat-tat on the door.
——He rolls over and looks
at his clock, and it's half
past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over. ——Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife.
——So he drags himself out of bed, and goes downstairs.
——He opens the door and there is man standing there. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.
——"Hi there." slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push??"
——"No, get lost(走开!), it's half past three. I was in bed." says the man and slams the door. ——He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Rememberthat night
we broke down on the pouring rain on the way
英语幽默笑话带翻译
1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 医生懂得多
一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."
2:You can't go without me
The bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. "Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts.
"It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him.
"But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.
没有我你们走不了
公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路.
"喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道.
"车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说.
"但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.
3:Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
4:Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。 5:Dear white, something you got to know .When I was born, I was black.When I grow up, I am blackWhen I'm under the sun, I'm blackWhen I'm cold, I'm blackWhen I'm afraid, I'm black.
When I'm sick, I'm black.When I die, I'm still black.you---white
people,When you were born, you were pink.When you grow up, you become white.You're red under the sun.You're blue when you're cold.You are yellow when you're afraid.You're green when you're sick.You're gray when you die.And you, call me "color"?
亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。 当我出生时，我是黑色的我长大了，我是黑色的我在阳光下，我是黑色的我寒冷时，我是黑色的我害怕时，我是黑色的我生病了，我是黑色的当我死了，我仍是黑色的。你---白种人，当你出生时，你是粉红色的。你长大了，变成白色的。你在阳光下，你是红色的。你寒冷时，你是青色的。你害怕时，你是黄色的。你生病时，你是绿色的。当你死时，你是灰色的。而你，却叫我「有色人种」？
6：Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。
那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”
哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”
7：How Many Rabbits?
Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have? Jonathan: Nine, sir.
Teacher: Nine?
Jonathan: I've got one already, sir.
多少只兔子？
老师：好，乔纳森，假如我给你三只兔子，第二天我又给你五只，你一共有多少只兔子？
乔纳森：一共有九只，先生。
老师：九只？
乔纳森：先生，我本来就有一只。
8：These Are My Jeans
After going on a diet，a woman felt really good about
herself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago．
“Look，look．” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband．“I can wear my old jeans again．”
Her husband looked at her for a long time，when said，“Honey，I love you，but these are my jeans．”
那是我的裤子!
一个妇女在减肥一段时间后自我感觉特别好——特别是当她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔裤时。她跑下楼冲她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。我又能穿上以前的裤子了。”她丈夫看了她好一会儿，然后说：“亲爱的，我爱你。但那是我的裤子。”
9：The mean man's party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?" 吝啬鬼请客
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”
“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。
10：All I do is pay
"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife
is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary."
"Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your position?"
"I'm the people. All I do is pay."
我要做的一切就是付钱
布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。我妻子
是财政部长。我岳母是作战部长，我女儿是外交秘书。”
“听上去挺有意思的，”他的同事说，“那你的职务是什么呢？”
“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付钱。”
1. What room has no walls, no doors, no windows, and no floors?
A mushroom.(蘑菇)
2. What is smaller than an insect's mouth?
Anything it eats.
3. What large instrument do you carry in your ears?
Drums, that is eardrums.(鼓膜)
4. What's too much for one, just right for two, but nothing at all for three?
A secret.
5. What person tried to make you smile most of the time?
A photographer.
6. What animal has a head like a cat, eyes like a cat, a tail like a cat, but isn't a cat?
A kitten.(小猫)
7. What surprising things happen every 24 hours?
Day breaks, but doesn't fall; night falls, but doesn't break.
8. What can hear you without ears and can answer you without a mouth? An echo.(回声)
9. What do you know about the kings of France?
They are all dead.
10. What question can you never answer 'yes" to"
Are you asleep?
11. Why do some old people never use glasses?
They must prefer bottles to glasses.
12. Why is the person wearing two coats while painting the house?
Because the instructions on the paint can say "Put on two coats for best results."
英语幽默小笑话六篇
frog 青蛙
Frog The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, "Now I'll show you this frog in my pocket." He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, "That's funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch."
老师正在给学生上生物课：“现在，我将要给你们看我袋子里的这只青蛙。”接着，他把手伸进口袋，却拿出了一份鸡肉三文治。老师满脸困惑地看了一眼，沉思了一会儿，说道：“真奇怪。我明明记得我已经把午饭吃掉了。”
人们什么时候说话最少？
Teacher: What is the plural of man,Tom?
老师: 汤姆，“男人”这个词的复数形式是什么?
Tom: Men.
汤姆:男人们。
Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
老师: 答得好。那“孩子”的复数形式呢?
Tom : Twins.
汤姆: 双胞胎。
谁欠谁钱
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for a consultation.
律师的狗，没有拴而到处闲逛，它来到一家肉店，偷走了一块 烤肉。店主来到律师的办公室，问道“如果一条没栓的狗从我的商店里偷了块肉，我有权利从狗的主人那里要回损失吗？律师答道：“完全可以”，“那你欠我 8.50美元，你的狗没栓而且今天从我的店里头了块肉”，律师什么都没说，马上给他写了一张支票。一些天后，店主打开邮箱，发现一封来自律师的信，信上写 道：咨询费250美元。I Have His Ear in My Pocket
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
Give up your seat to a lady给女士让座
Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
"You've done the right thing," says Mommy.
"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap."
小强尼说：“妈妈，今天早上和爸爸在公车上时，他叫我让座给一位女士。”
妈妈说：“你做得很对呀。”
“但是，妈妈，我是坐在爸爸膝盖上的。”
What Was It She Wanted？
A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer．“No，ma’am， we haven't had any for a while， and it doesn't look asif we'll be getting soon．” Horrified，the manager came runningover to the customer and said，“Of course， we'll have somesoon， We placed an order last week．” Then the manager drewthe clerk aside：“Never， never， never say we are out of anything—say we've got it on order and it's coming． Now whatwas it she wanted？” “Rain．” said the clerk．
一个商店经理听见一个店员对顾客说：“不，夫人，这会儿没有，一时半会儿看来也不会有。”经理惊恐万分地跑到顾客跟前说：“当然，马上就会有的。我们上周订了货。”然后经理把店员拉到一边：“千万，千万，千万不要说我们没有什么——说我们已经订了货，货马上就到。现在你说她要买什么？” “雨，”店员说。
英语幽默笑话
一、学习笑话，开心不累
由于文化背景的不同，西方式的笑话幽默与东方式的往往差异较大。对于英语学习者而言，往往不易领会英语笑话的真正含义所在，比如：“I love animals; they are delicious.”这句话只有在英语世界中才有其可笑之处，因为对我们中国人而言，几乎所有的动物皆可使用，这是中国饮食文化的一个方面，因此没什么可大惊小怪的。然而对于西方人而言，动物是人类的亲密伙伴，动物同样有生存权及发展权，因此那位喜爱吃动物的食客才会沦为笑柄。
笑话幽默是了解一种文化的一个途径和窗口。只有了解他们的文化，才能会心地笑出来。而当你同老外们交谈时，领会其幽默之处无疑也是你必备的一种技能。不要等别人都笑出来之后你才反应过来。
学习英文笑话，不仅可以让你了解他们的文化，与他们沟通更加顺畅，还可以增添你学习英语的乐趣，让你对英语逐渐产生兴趣，而不是越学越烦，越学越难。
此外，英文笑话里面有许多幽默机智的小对话，对口语学习非常有益。学习经典英文笑话，学说里面的精炼对话，用不了多久，你的英语口语就将变得非常风趣幽默，你将成为最受欢迎的人，所有人都愿意和你交谈，所有人都乐意听你讲话。如果一个人说话毫无风趣可言，老外们必然会将你排除在他们朋友圈子之外，因为他们最最推崇的交友原则就是：这个人必须幽默风趣！
二、多说多练，风趣幽默
请跟随老师朗读并大胆讲给别人听，不要害羞，也不要害怕丢脸，因为这次丢脸是为了将来永远不丢脸，赶快行动起来吧！
1.Intelligent son 聪明的儿子
One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter, the son took the letter , the father then remembered didn't write the address and addressee's name on the envelope.
After the son comes back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter in the mail box?"
"Certainly"
"You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?"
"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope."
"Then why you didn't take it back?"
"I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee, is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!"
有一天,父亲让八岁的儿子去寄一封信,儿子已经拿着信跑了,父亲才想起信封上没写地址和收信人的名字。
儿子回来后,父亲问他:“你把信丢进邮筒了吗?” “当然”“你没看见信封上没有写地址和收信人名字吗?”
“我当然看见信封上什么也没写”“那你为什么不拿回来呢？”
“我还以为你不写地址和收信人,是为了不想让我知道你把信寄给谁呢!”
2.Sharing the Apples 分苹果
Harry was given two apples, a small one and a large one, by his Mum. Share them with your sister, she said.
So Harry gave the small one to his little sister and started touching into the large one.
Cor! said his sister, If Mum had given them to me I'd have given you the large one and had the small one myself.
Well, said Harry, that's what you've got, so what are you worrying about?
妈妈给了哈里两个苹果，一个大一点，另一个小点儿。跟妹妹分着吃。妈妈说。
所以，哈里就把小个的给了妹妹，自己开始啃那个大个的。
哼，妹妹说，如果妈妈给了我，我会把大的给你，把小的留给自己的。
对呀，哈里说，你拿到的不就是小的吗？还着什么急呀？
3.Snorer 瞌睡者
The preacher was vexed（生气的） because a certain member of his congregation（集会，圣会） always fell asleep during the sermon.
As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After
whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."
Awaking with a start（吓一跳） , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit（讲道坛） , "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
牧师非常生气，因为总有一个人在他说教时打瞌睡。
一个星期天，正当坐在前排的那个人又在瞌睡时，牧师决定要好好教育他一下，让他不要再在布道时睡觉。于是他低声对信徒们说：“想去天堂的人，都请站起来吧。”所有的人都站了起来——当然，除了那个打瞌睡的人。在低声说过请坐后，牧师高声喊道：“想去下地狱的人请站起来！”
打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声惊醒了，他站了起来。看到牧师高站在教坛上，正生气的看着他。这个人说道：“噢，先生，我不知道我们在选什么，但看上去只有你和我是候选人。”
4.Two Pieces of Cake 两块蛋糕
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗？
妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧！
5.A Gentle Reminder委婉提醒
Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"
Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, "So, you want to switch seats?"
婚后已久，我丈夫往往在一个特别事情上需要委婉的提醒。在我们结婚35周年纪念的早上，我们正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：“亲爱的，你意识到我们在这两个相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了吗？”
他放下报纸，眼睛直直地望着我：“因此，你想交换座位吗？
6.It's not my fault 不是我的错
Mother (reprimanding训斥，谴责 her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.
Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.
妈妈（正教训她的女儿）：你不该拽猫的尾巴。
女儿：妈，我只是握着猫尾巴，它自己在拽。
7.一分一块钱 A dollar per point
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.
Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."
The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change.
一天，教授正在给学生们监考。他发下试卷，然后回到讲台前等待。
考试结束了，学生们纷纷交回试卷。教授发现一张试卷上别着一张百元钞票，还有一张纸条写着：“一分一块钱。” 第二堂课，教授把试卷都发回学生们手中。其中一个学生不但得到了试卷还得到64块钱的找零。
8.To Buy a Video 买录像机
Amos asked his mother whether they could have a video.
I‟m afraid we can‟t afford one, sighed his mother.
But on the following day in came Amos, staggering beneath the weight of a brand-new video.
How on earth did you pay for that? gasped his mother.
Easy, Mum. replied Amos, I sold the television!
艾莫斯问妈妈他们是否能买一台录像机。
恐怕我们还买不起，妈妈叹息着说。
可第二天当艾莫斯回来时，他摇摇晃晃地搬着一台全新的录像机。
你究竟是哪儿来的钱买这东西？妈妈大吃一惊，喘着气说。
妈妈，这简单， 艾曼斯回答。我把电视机给卖了！
9.Does He Bite 它咬人吗
Reggie: We have got a new dog. Would you like to come around and play with him?
Ron: Well, I don't know---does he bite?
Reggie: That's what I want to find out.
里基：我们又得到了一条新狗，你愿意过来和他玩一会吗？
罗恩：嗯，我不知道----它咬人吗？
里基：这正是我想要查明的。
10.Birthday 生日
Professor: When is your birthday?
Kid: May 30.
Professor: Which year?
Kid: Every year.
教授：你的生日是什么时候？
孩子：5月30日。
教授：哪一年？
孩子：每年都是。
11.How to Become Rich 如何致富
Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you don't give me a nickel I'll tell my father.
Sister's boyfriend: No, don't do that. Here's a nickel.
Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter I've made this month.
弟弟：我看见你亲我姐姐了，如果你不给我五分钱，我就告诉我爸。
姐姐的男朋友：不要那样做。给你五分钱。
弟弟：我这个月已经赚了一块两毛五了。
12.I'm Glad 我很高兴
A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. Now, children, said she, has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?
Please, teacher, said a small boy, I've made someone glad yesterday.
Well done. Who was that?
My granny.
Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grand mother glad.
Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, „Granny, I'm going home,‟ and she said, „Well, I'm glad‟！
一个主日学校的老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。现在，孩子们，她说：你们当中有谁让别人高兴过？
我，老师，一个小男孩说：昨天我就使别人高兴过。
做得好，是谁呢？
我奶奶。
好孩子，现在告诉我们，你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。
是这样的，老师。我昨天去看她，在她那儿呆了三个小时。然后我跟她说：„奶奶，我要回家了。‟她说：„啊，我很高兴！‟
13.What Color什么颜色
An impoverished graduate student at Clemson Universi
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